Being mean

So there's a few things that i really disapprove of, the first would be being mean. I'm not mean very often, i try not to be anyway. i really believe that you should treat people the way you want to be treated. that being said, i'm only human and humans make mistakes and have bad days. Sometimes the smallest things, out of the blue will light a mean streak in me like you've never seen. when i'm mean, the words strike deep and scar. i'm not proud of it, and after i've had my fit i put on my big girl undies and apologize and admit that i was wrong for using mean words as my weapon of choice.

 i screwed up on the worst work day of the week, MONDAY. my poor hubs got the brunt of my attack, well actually of of my attack ( my children were all ready at school ). we don't fight, hardly ever.  He was my 21st birthday present to myself, almost 15 years later that still puts a grin on my face. and in all of those 15 years we have been in a handful of arguments. most of them being my fault, my man is quite laid back about just about everything and i'm shall we say, a little rowdy. i do like to have a good time, and usually i'm a lot to handle.

that's a whole other story.

back to being mean, the reason for my meanness Monday was the result of my second thing that i disapprove of. never, and i mean NEVER call me lazy.
you see, my man made the dreadful mistake of uttering a phrase. it was a phrase that i translated as "all you do is lay on your ass". i have learned in the last 15 years that men believe the dishes wash themselves, and the laundry gets put away by the magic little fairies that i have employed to do all of my housework while i lay on my ass all day. there is no use in arguing about anything that means nothing like housework. it will get done............eventually.

there is no use in arguing about anything that you cannot change, live with it, deal with it, do what you have to do to get by. Just don't waste your precious time and energy being mad for the sake of being mad. it's just not productive and it leads to a general bad mood all of the time, and your bad mood will spread to innocent bystanders that cross your path. it's just no way to live.

back to my story. So Monday my man is getting ready to go out of town for work after he uttered that phrase and i'm still hurt so i start hurling words that were way below the belt. i should not have been mean, not that mean. now my man is a state away with only a brief text tonight that lets me know without actually saying how he feels that i hurt him. i hurt him. it hurts me to know that i hurt him. it also reminds me how lucky i am to have a person in my life who still loves me when it is apparent that at this moment i do not deserve his love. i am a lucky girl, i'm sure he did not realize the full spectrum of what "in sickness and in health" meant when he said I do.

Now i will wait patiently for him to come home and hope that when he does get here he will have let go of the hurt that i have caused him. Our 13th wedding anniversary is just 6 days away, all i want this year is to know that he knows without a doubt, that he is the best birthday present i ever received. its the gift that keeps on giving, and giving, and giving.....................

There's other things that I disapprove of, but at this moment, i'm disapproving of the fact i can't keep my eyes open.

hope its a happy hump day for everyone

xoxoxo amy p.